Walking through the Virginia Highlands in Atlanta (with a cup of the world’s best gelato, of course) I absent mindedly wandered through a boutique. And this quote caught my eye – caught my heart.
“The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be… because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap.” – Mary Anne Radmacher
The season to hear, respond to such words is just right.
Where I Am – hungry, anxious, disillusioned
Where I Want To Be – peaceful, full, even overflowing
The only thing between here and there… my fear.
Oh! Is that all?
Fear is vague, internal and intangible. Ignoring and moving beyond it should require nothing more than a simple mental assertion. Maybe liking a couple of “feel good” quotes posted on Facebook. Or spend time commiserating with a friend. (I’ve done all three!)
It’s not like other real obstacles: the loss of a job, the neediness of a family member, a learning disability, lack of skills or opportunity, devastating illness, financial disaster. After all, it’s just fear.
But I contend that the very fact that it is vague and intangible gives fear it’s teeth.
And so I wait.
I wait for the fear to end and the confidence, courage to begin. Like the dawning of early morning light, it should just happen, with or without me. But it doesn’t and I’m still waiting. (Well, dawn happened, like always, but my fear didn’t untangle itself in the night.)
First time I saw that quote, a stirring began which lead me on a journey that caused me to quit my job, move to a another city, get married, quit another job and launch my own company. That familiar stirring is happening again. Who knows where it will lead this time!
This time it’s been 2 years of stirring, full of fear, but never relenting. Recently I’ve been reminded, even spurred on, to “just go ahead and do it.”
“But I’m still afraid,” I respond.
Answer, “Well then, do it afraid.”
I’m remembering, the opposite of fear is not courage, confidence. The opposite of fear is love, acceptance.
I have recently been taking deep breathes in my soul and reminding myself that I have love in my life. With it, comes great acceptance. And somewhere in there is the strength to move forward in the face of my fear.
I close my eyes and leap…
I’m choosing to just do it. I’m doing it afraid.
Welcome to my blog, first step in my great leap between where I am and where I want to be.
I’m doing it afraid. And it makes me smile!