The jump is so frightening…

Walking through the Virginia Highlands in Atlanta (with a cup of the world’s best gelato, of course) I absent mindedly wandered through a boutique. And this quote caught my eye – caught my heart.

โ€œThe jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be… because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

The season to hear, respond to such words is just right.

Where I Am – hungry, anxious, disillusioned
Where I Want To Be – peaceful, full, even overflowing

The only thing between here and there… my fear.

Oh! Is that all?

Fear is vague, internal and intangible. Ignoring and moving beyond it should require nothing more than a simple mental assertion. Maybe liking a couple of “feel good” quotes posted on Facebook. Or spend time commiserating with a friend. (I’ve done all three!)

It’s not like other real obstacles: the loss of a job, the neediness of a family member, a learning disability, lack of skills or opportunity, devastating illness, financial disaster. After all, it’s just fear.

But I contend that the very fact that it is vague and intangible gives fear it’s teeth.

And so I wait.

I wait for the fear to end and the confidence, courage to begin. Like the dawning of early morning light, it should just happen, with or without me. But it doesn’t and I’m still waiting. (Well, dawn happened, like always, but my fear didn’t untangle itself in the night.)

First time I saw that quote, a stirring began which lead me on a journey that caused me to quit my job, move to a another city, get married, quit another job and launch my own company. That familiar stirring is happening again. Who knows where it will lead this time!

This time it’s been 2 years of stirring, full of fear, but never relenting. Recently I’ve been reminded, even spurred on, to “just go ahead and do it.”

“But I’m still afraid,” I respond.

Answer, “Well then, do it afraid.”

I’m remembering, the opposite of fear is not courage, confidence. The opposite of fear is love, acceptance.

I have recently been taking deep breathes in my soul and reminding myself that I have love in my life. With it, comes great acceptance. And somewhere in there is the strength to move forward in the face of my fear.

I close my eyes and leap…

I’m choosing to just do it. I’m doing it afraid.

Welcome to my blog, first step in my great leap between where I am and where I want to be.

I’m doing it afraid. And it makes me smile!

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9 thoughts on “The jump is so frightening…”

  1. I am about to take a jump into a new chapter of my life myself. With that has come doubt and fear about the unknown. On my journey God is ministering to me about those things. This is what I have… The person that God has called us to be will always be someone we don’t think we can be. That is because God wants a willing vessel and He wants to take us the rest of the way. He wants us to rely on Him. We know we can’t do what it is God has called us to do on our own. That is why we get scared. We start to doubt that God will show up when we need him. Has he ever failed us yet? We have to completely surrender ourselves daily to Him. We get so bogged down with our “lives” that it gets “hard” to surrender ourselves to Him when it is actually the easier route. We say we don’t have time. We start to doubt He will do his part and start hording the call to do all on our own. We start to rely on our ability instead of God’s ability. That is what is scary, us trying to do God’s job. No wonder we get stressed and feel incapable. We are incapable without Him. We have to continuously go to Him to remind ourselves of the path He wants us to take, the call He wants us to do, and remember that He called us specifically to do this for a reason and in this season.

  2. Do it afraid!
    Thats the story of my life:). For me, it’s not just in the BIG things but in the little things, like my interactions with others, my response to unpleasant situations, my attitude towards work. In all of those things if I listen, I hear a whisper that directs me. Many times I’m too afraid to listen to the whisper because it goes against culture or my ‘no that can’t be right’ attitude. For me the ugly root of not listening to the whisper is a weird form of pride. Insert sadface. So that’s why there is this God given strength to do it afraid:), besides I could never to it in my power, anyways. The results never cease to amaze me:).
    Doing it afraid in the big things… Well that’s easy (said in my dry sarcastic voice) JUST JUMP:). Get a good running start, ( ie mental pep talk, or burning message straight through the heart that won’t let you out of its grip) don’t look back, remember to breathe, clothes your eyes and hurdle yourself over the edge. Before you know it, you will have found solid ground. Then you’ll be anxiously awaiting the next time you get to hurl yourself over another fantastically awesome crazy void that is somehow (and I don’t know how this happens) filled with hope and peace.

    • Wow – Good thoughts Jessica. The jumps, large and small, all seem to feel the same after a while, no matter the size. I’d even say the daily “close to the ground” repeated puddle jumping can be the most tiresome of all. Consistency in those times is a thing of beauty. It’s “how we should live.”

  3. I’m excited to see the path this blog takes. Anytime you step out on a limb at God’s direction, it is probably because he has a really cool treehouse he’s built that he wants to show you. ๐Ÿ™‚ Trust isn’t an easy thing, but stepping out to do something we are not at all sure we can accomplish in and of ourselves definitely falls into the category of trusting God to lead the way and the stones to step on. So glad this blog is taking off – can’t wait to see what is put out there, both by you Karena and by those following. I know it’s going to be good.

  4. Your timing with this could not be more perfect… I’ll keep reading – thanks for your thoughts/heart… truly perfect timing – tears are streaming as I type.


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